Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The street of mystery people

I live about halfway down my street. It's not a big street, in fact, it's an avenue. It even has a few trees in it, which sway terrifyingly in high winds and faithfully deposit sticky stuff on your car every spring and summer. I can walk to either end of my street in about thirty seconds. I can amble it in under a minute. So by most standards it's not a big street at all.
And yet, there are people who live in my street I have never seen or met in ten years of living there. There are some I can stop and have a chat with, some of them I'm on merely nodding terms with. (Most of them I can never remember their names, though my wife can. I think that might be something to do with my brain though, as I can still remember how to do Atic Atac.) There are some I wish I saw and heard less of, like the Incredible Fighting Lesbians and the Staring Man, but there must be three or four houses whose occupants I have never seen. How can this be? I mean, they could be working odd hours, but not all the time. There are lights on sometimes, so I know people live there.
I can only assume they spend their time on the Internet writing about the bloke across the road who has a benny at the lawnmower when it cuts out and swore at his car that day. Or perhaps they are as unaware of me as I am of them, suspicious of the house across the road where they sometimes see the lights on but never see anyone. I find this hard to believe as my kids make at least as much noise as the Incredible Fighting Lesbians and leave a trail of debris as wide as the Titanic. Coats, sweet wrappers, plasticine, bikes, scooters, odd-shaped sticks and a variety of sticky foodstuffs are all cast aside in their wake. I'm thinking of getting a small street sweeping vehicle as my next car.
Anyway, people who I never see on my street. Centuries-ancient Lancastrian suburban vampires or nervous ex-mafia supergrasses relocated to provincial north west England? Possibly.


Lee said...

Don't know about Atic Atac, but I kid myself now and again that I'd still be a bit of wiz on Lunar Jet Man,

My parents have still got my Spectrum I think. A game of Match Day in the summer? First one to run the entire length of the pitch with the ball bouncing on their head is the winner.

Smallbrainfield said...

That sounds like a plan!