Happy belated new year.
First of all, I want to make it totally clear that I'm very disappointed in all of you. If you don't pull your socks up, you're not going to pass those 'o' levels you so deeply crave, your passport to further education; a blissful cushion against the hard, painful world of work. They used to send kids up chimneys you know.
Well, look at the state of this place. What a decrepit tip. How do people keep up blogs? Do they have people to do it for them or do they just never leave their computers alone? My worst problem is that most of my best ideas occur when I'm far from a keyboard, and of those I remember, they never seem as good by the time I get round to writing them up. This also happens when I think of ideas for humourous pictures, but I can usually do them. Plus, I can always add a reminder note on my mobile, which led to the classic "Why have you just written 'Ray Mears builds a woman' on your phone?" from my wife. Good times.
Perhaps I'm just not cut out for this blog lark. It's bad enough having a Flickr account, membership of several forums and messageboards. God help me if I joined Facebook (NEVER). How do people do all this stuff and still have time for rich, fulfilled and above all interesting lives away from their keyboards? Damned if I know.
Anyway, I've joined a gym, which I might write about if I can be arsed, and I'm looking forward to seeing Aliens versus Predator Requiem and Cloverfield. And I'm still buying 2000AD and NME, though I'm not sure I like the new logo the 'AD have adopted. So there.
*The reply to which is of course, no, you can use the telephone like everyone else.