Monday, March 05, 2007

Hello Lee, Paul and Mike

Is this you? Are you Paul Little or indeed Lee Moran, or Mike Marsden? Perhaps you remember a time when petrol from the JET garage on Psalter Lane really was only 43.9 pence a litre? Seeing as you have to pay good money to keep in contact with your mates via Friends Re-ignited, I thought I would post this here and tag it with the names of the people in it and see what happens. We all search for our names on Google at least once. I, it turns out have had minor roles in several films and even have an entry on the IMDB.

Friends Reunited is a terrible place to go. Very depressing, and not just because of the odd person from school who now lives in Sydney sipping asses milk out of gourds and waited on by sultry and sexually vivacious handmaidens. The catalogue of names is like a list of the dead on some municipal monument to the first world war. Worse, some of them describe how they died in graphic detail. So I had a gander at some of the entries, updated my own (the internet equivalent of leaving a wreath of poppies?) and got the hell out of Dodge. Friends Reunited is owned by ITV. Every penny spent goes into the pockets of Ant & Dec, or making new episodes of Ultimate Force.

Perhaps you remember this place. Or perhaps you don’t. Hmmmm, fifteen years after leaving college and falling out of touch, I actually find I miss the people I was there with and wouldn’t mind saying hello once in a while. Perhaps you too are married with kids and possess an innate desire to purchase a large LCD or plasma television. Perhaps you already own such a thing, in which case, invite me round to press the buttons.
It may not be a good idea to meet people you haven’t seen for ten years (in some cases), I don’t know. But I wouldn’t mind finding out, even if it's just to tell me you thought I was a tosser all those years ago. And still do. At least I won't lie awake in bed at nights any more thinking; "Did they think I was a tosser?" So if it’s you, get in touch. I shall leave this blog entry like a message in a bottle to bob up and down in the internet for a few years. More than likely I will end up with another Madagascan pen pal.

Always with the photos of ring tailed lemurs.


Furious said...

Simply ghastly!

Also: for your popping in my blog at a time of dire need. Thankyouthankyoutahnkyou!

ade said...

Friends Reunited is ultimately pointless. Surely you're meant to have kept in contact with the people you wanted to keep in contact with?
I can't believe how my old school has produces so many millionaire property developers, successful managing directors and upstanding pillars of society. Most of these "success stories" were complete twats at school. How's that work, then?